Journal and Forum

Explaining service to the Lwas is damned near impossible, especially when I don't always understand it. I just do what their quiet inner voices ask, and trust it is the right thing. Some of their requests are straightforward: clothing for instance, must be carefully chosen each day with consultation from mi padrone y madrone (Yes, La Balene accepted me, more on that later). Other issues are more complex. Friday night, I was perfectly content sitting in the hot apartment with the 40 oz beer Legba had requested. He then pops in my head (mind you, I was just one glass into the beer) and says "Go out. Walk to the deli on St Nicholas, and buy more beer, AND a cigarette". "WHAT?" I exclaimed, "but the whole point here was to give UP cigarettes..."

"Trust me", he tells me. "Go buy the beer, and whatever you see as necessary, and you WILL smoke that cigarette..."

So I hobble my way up 171st to the Arabic owned 24 hour deli where they sell single cigarettes for $.50 each...On the way, I see a beautiful funerary floral arch, and a small table with several candles. I ask one of the neighborhood men sitting there if the deceased was his friend, and if he honored los santeria or was catholica. "Santeria", I am told. Ok, looks like I am adding a candle to the list along with my Ballantine 40 oz and a cigarette... I see that most of the candles and objects are red, so i decide that color is a safe bet...

When I got back there and placed the candle, I notice it is below the window of the elderly Dominicano lady who finally smiled and talked to me the other day when I danced through the sprinkler on her street like a child. Now, she speaks no English, and I have little Spanish, so conversation is not exactly simple. But we manage to establish that she is friends with the mother of the Dominican family from whom I rent, and that she is no more Christiano than I am...I relight one of the candles to her satisfaction, and pour a little beer in the offering cups placed there. I stood and smoked my cigarette while I befriended this very traditional Dominicano senora...

When i got back to my building, the super is hanging out in front with the "regulars", so I ask if i may have a seat. I have been working on befriending him a while as well. I want no trouble in this neighborhood, and from what I have seen, he and the old Dominicano lady are the biggest gossips; so it serves me well to let them know a) I am not your typical blanco, and b) this Americano wants no troubles....

While I sat talking with him, the lwa in my head says, "More cigarettes". I was already hurting from my first walk and really questioning why Legba is wanting me to smoke. His only answer "it's Friday. You offer beer and tobacco to me". So ok, I get the super to translate, and the nice Domincano youth there agrees to walk up and get me a couple of cigarettes... I smoke one when talking to the super, and they are Newports, so I hold one up to heaven in honor of a dead friend as unobtrusively as possible when everyone's attention is elsewhere...just as I spilled out much of my open can of beer to the lwas there on my stoop...

I came upstairs when they all went in, and cracked my remaining 40 oz. I settle in with my glass and the last Newport when Legba says "You are not done yet. On such a hot night you should be outside where its cool. Go buy more beer. And as many cigarettes as that leaves you change for". I check my remaining cash...that means 1 more 40 oz and 5 smokes.

Back up 171st, I check my candle. It and the other I had relit have gone out. Recently, for the wax is still soft. My own I repair, but the other is hopeless, its wick was shit to start and has broken off so deeply in the candle that without a proper knife to dig the wax I cannot get it lit again. I guess it was for this that Legba instructed me to bring a votive, so I pop it in. I also place the shell I was told to take with me that trip....the plastic glasses into which i poured the beer offering are gone. I place the shell where they stood.

This time I stand there for some time. There are some local youth my son's age I have been talking to that also seem to stay in that building. I establish a better rapport with them and finally head home. I stand outside my building, alone this time, watching the craziness of the club across the street while I smoke one of my proscribed cigarettes- back to Marlboro this time.

So I finally come up to tend my little altar. It is getting late, like 4am. I can hear that the club is finally closing. I look to see how many cigarettes are in that bag as I tend the altar and drink my beer. 4 left. "Smoke 3 of these now, my daughter." says Legba. "Leave the last in the silver case on your altar. This is your last tobacco offering to the Lwa, you will make no more. Think, count...how many cigarettes did you smoke tonight?". I count back...the answer is 7. One for each of Los Sientes Potencias Africanos...

After the cigarettes were gone, the last carefully put away in its silver case upon the altar, La Balene told me to go and draw the Veve she had given to me through Legba on the doorstep of this building. So as dawn tinted the NYC heavens,, I went and sat simply like a child on the pavement of the stoop, and drew the whale Lwa veve as I was shown. Passerbys just ignored me. Then I came inside and was told to mark certain things, the marble newels, the stairs near my apt, my door, etc, with stars in the purple chalk I had used. Some I was told to erase and hide, others to leave visible.

Yesterday (Saturday) I was sequestered, mi Madrone asked me to neither leave the house nor speak to anyone I didn't have to. Legba was quiet in my head. But La Balene, for whom I burn a Santa Marta Dominadora (Mama Simbi) candle had plenty to say. More on that in another entry. Now I go to break my fast...

On the 17th of May, I bought a "7 African Powers" candle and entreated their aid in my endeavor to quit smoking. Immediately, though it had been MANY years since I invoked him directly, I could "hear" Papa Legba in my head. At 8:45 am, about 1 hour after I smoked my last cigarette, I wrote:

And Elegua rides me, and asks of me thrice:

1) Are you ready to give up your tobacco, as you have asked of our assistance to do?

I answered, "YES"

2) Are you ready to cease burning the bitter herb, your curse of recrimination on the iniquity of mankind? Are you ready to give over your valid and proper judgement (even though it is yours to give) back to Justo Juez?

I answered "Insofar as I may still, from this strange Sermon on Media Mount, declare counsel, prophecy and judgement...then yes, I am so willing."

3) Are you willing to choose life over death, with all of its joys, sorrows, evils and blessings, with only the hope that the rest of mankind may follow and choose the same?

I answered, "I will live for this."


_______________________________________________________________________


"When you want of tobacco, stop: Breathe deeply and say "Elegua". Your own strength will be there, as am I at any crossroads".

Later, after I had called him as instructed, Legba said to me:

"You, your addictive mind, want a cigarette when you have accomplished something, a reward. But THINK: What kind of a reward is SOMETHING THAT WILL KILL YOU? Forsake the sweet poison, reward yourself with something which brings LIFE instead....

_______________________________________________________________________

5/18/10 2:45 am

Mi Padre Elegua, grant me true sight to clearly see the strength of life on the path set before my feet.

_______________________________________________________________________


5/24/10

Teaching myself to draw Papa Legba's Veve, the one with the cane. I drew the cane in the wrong place. When I went to scratch it out, I heard him exclaim "NO"..."Por Que?" I asked..."You must leave it in, for you need your own cane as well, Maman..."

Later Legba said to me:

"a room should always have 2 chairs, so the Lwa have a place to sit".

5/29/10
I was restless and went wandering in this strange Dominican neighborhood. You can feel the Lwas being invoked all over this neighborhood. Evidently, I am flashing power as well. As I was hobbling down the side street from Broadway to my place 2 streets over, I passed 2 men enjoying the night's beauty of their stoop. As I walked by, one started tapping out the Legba rhythm. I turned and nodded acknowlegement, and walked along. I was only half myself in that moment, the other half was the Lwa riding me. The man must have seen this. I stayed awake until dawn, awaiting the finish of the 7 African Powers candle I first lit on the 17th


6/3/10

I have accepted Elegua as mi Padrone, while he laughs at me and says I have run from him for over 20 years, since I left Buffalo. He says that now that I, too, hobble along on a cane, he has finally been able to catch me.

I have asked La Sirene if she will be my patroness. I await some sign that she wishes me to serve her.

Monday May 24,2010
BlackMoon....Pass out Dr. John's prayer on the oil spill. It would be powerful to place some of the oil on the cards to be given out. Books and prep for trip to Babalon.

Tuesday
May 25,2010
Operation under left eye. This scar matches the scar over my left eye. Some sort of sword or knife wound brought to karmic frutation. A fairly common process described best in the book Old Souls.

Wednesday
May 26, 2010
The oil would transform the cards containing the prayer into talismanes. A chance to see the monster.

Thursday May 27, 2010
The Road movie....the boy / the man/ the world. To survive and remain the good guys. The basic decision was not to commit suicide. Why? The movie resonates with the vision of the spreading oil.

Friday May 28,2010
Maps for Msln and I. The oil is in parts of Louisiana we seldom visit. We were in Golden Isle years ago.

Saturday May29, 2010
Griffins Nest Festival
This is to my knowledge the first pagan festival in Louisiana. TV reporters from Baton Rouge upon arrival. Heard the the local churches actively opposed the fest. About 50 people including presenters. Very welcoming. Spoke with Sam, gate keeper, he said that drummin at 60 cycles a minite induces an alpha state. Cliff is having tha fest.
TARA...I was drawn to a large live oak on the festival field. An immense living being. Walked and touched the low branches. Sat by the trunk...a sense of being enveloped in the above and below ground extentions of the tree. Two people came over who turned out to be presenters. They were teaching a Tara Mandala Dance at the tree. Ah! I felt Mr. Norbu in this. During the Mandala dance, there was a lot of wind and a bug landed on the hand i held the Tara statue. It held tightly; a sense of caring and protection welled up in me. Someone I knew lives ago has come to me for refuge in the storm. The partner of the teacher has brough Wicca and Tibetan Buddism together in a coven he leads.
OIL...text from Mgdlyn. Cap on blown pipe failed. A sadness I felt driving here through the swamps and wet land became overwelming and I walked looking for solitude. The idea of the "emvironment" is too abstract for me but the loss of the beauty; the art I saw on the way up was devestating. My heart broke. I suppose that the oil will bring new, different life forms but the marine life, the birds, the flora will be gone.
SWAMP An 80 foot dock led into a full growth cyprus swamp next to the festival field. I spent a good amount of the time back on the dock drumming to the swamp spirits.
MGDLYN Working / Abyss / "Who am I." With sacrament. I assisted acting as a familiar. I was in the swamp and Mgdlyn in Cincinnati. Celtic music at fai do do in background. Used the unicursal hexagram as the majickal link. AUDIO record "Maegdlyn, who are you? Who are you. who are you? Who are you? Ago yea...Ago yea...you walk you walk....passageways...I come to meet you....agoago....Move upon the water....Such a gathering...Strength...the Word Strength to you...Who are you, Mgdlyn? " A great white bird takes flight before me. The talismine glows lighting the darkness. Thhroughout the tape there is an odd gurgling sound I did not hear. Something to incorporate into the drumming. The talismine shines with the color of magick.
The talismin flies like a white moth over the swamp.
VOODOO Drummed with a House from North Carolina. We knew one another from American Voodoo Fest in Flordia about 2003. Powerful rite for The Lovers. A man and a woman who loved one another and were to be sold to different plantations. They escaped and traveled on the underground railway. they died on the journey, their union torn apart in the Visible World. The rite was to marry them in the InvisibleWorld. The ceremony to be performed by the loa and orisha.

Sunday May 30, 2010
Barbara from Chicago arrives. Talk of slavic paganism.

New Orleans Voodoo Spiritual Temple
Doing drum prayer by front altars for quick clean up of oil spill.

Norma came into the Temple and said Dr. John (Mac Rebanack) called the Temple and gave her a prayer he wrote.
I said the prayer and played with the paper on my drum head.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Prayer by Dr. John (5.6.2010)
Recite at Sundown

Great Spirit, Mother God, Father God
Surround your people with white light
To protect them from harm.
Send your spirit guides to keep the earth strong;
Angels to protect the land from the oil;
The waters from polution;
The animals from the storm.

Surround us with your holy light,
Smile upon us to keep us strong,
Preserve the land.
Spare your children and enlighten the masses.
Give us a solution.

Four winds blow; swirl to the sea.
While the white light shines and protects the sacred center.
Remove the earth from the path of harm.
Forgive the transgressors.
Let the light remove the dark.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Tasty....I can hear his voice.
Please share this with others if its to your will.

Conjure on the levee.
The dead tumble and twist in the Mississippi. Magnificant. There are some visions only seen when alone.

Lu and I went to Shell Beach. It is an heavily impacted area given over to shrimp and oil production. It is also an inlet of the Gulf. Its waters are high right now, from the full moon. The waves hit the bricks piled against the shore with anger, and the wind is stiff. I walked out onto a spit of rock that was hit by the waves the hardest.
I had brought the mantras of a Red Tara, a White Tara, a Black Tara, and Mahakala with me. I also brought fresh water, beer, a trio of white flowers and found a dead catfish for meat...the Wrathful Protectors like meat, beer, strong tea, extreme things...I chanted Him first. Invocation came naturally, and I realized I was crouching in one of his positions. My focus was to try to keep oil out of Lake Borgne, which once was a lake unto itself until Katrina.
This, I realize, is a Water Katrina.
My beads have been used both for the Wrathful and for the Buddhas. The beads trailed down in my hand as I counted them off, and the end of it fell into the water I as crouched in. I worked to create a kind of psychic fence between it and the rest of the Gulf. I thought, if we had magickans each giving themselves over to a little bit of the coastline, we would have a stronger fence....
Mainly, my concern is for the birds. who are nesting right now right at the coastline. All of them. Every pelican, every snowy egret.
But my concern was not a part of the rite. My ritual is about protecting the living in the face of an entire sea of oil.

I threw out the alcohol at various periods during the chant, into the sea I threw out the fish. When I was done, I went back into the land, somewhat, rather than remain in the encroaching tide.
I chanted the Taras....there was a kindness and compassion for all the living things that will die from this, and the thought came that they will be reborn, too, like ourselves. That behind this was a warning about the dangers of the increasing oil rigs that Obama had been touting. Something no one could ignore. It is a sorrow that humans must learn things this way. My bead still trailed in the unpolluted water. The people whom I love here, the generations of fishers, who will have to go elsewhere to practice their craft, are out right now, getting whatever they can possibly get before their livelihood White Tara, Red Tara, they were most concerned about the people....Black Tara is wrathful and has a Mahakala-like atmosphere to her.
While the mantras ran on, I put myself in the postion in which she is often seen-one leg under her, one leg out, to pound the earth with her foot. HA HA HE HE,HO HO! Yes, this is part of Black Taras mantra. Pound with the feet! Speak to the earth!
This is a technique that is often seen in Tibetan Buddhist ritual dances...this pounding.of the earth. BAM BAM! part of Red Taras mantra, hit the earth! Stamp your foot and make it listen! Let the will of the Goddess and your personal Will become one, let the Earth become one with Us.

Thursday
4.29.2010
RITUAL: OIL SPILL: Working on Lake Borgne with Mishlen Linden. We will be conjuring with Mammie Waters and two of the Tara's...swamp and mountain Invisibles.
WILL: Protection. Place the oil spill where it will do the least harm.
LOVE: Drumming to Mama Waters and mantras to the Red and Black Taras.
Offerings of Clean water to all. Beer to the Tibetan protective deities.
Mama Waters -
Hands... Rhythm for drummers is a 2 against 3.
Head..Pure water pushing against the oil slick moving it off the coast and out to sea.
Heart...Share what the shrimpers at Shell Beach are feeling right now.
Red Tara (water)
Om tare tuth Tare, Ture mama, sarva bam bam, tsala bhaya shanti kuru so-ha!
Black Tara (protective)
Om karma tare' sarva, shatrun bighanan mara sona ha! ha ! he! he! ho ho ! homilom bhendha bhendha, phat!
On Black Tara, clap hands after each exclamation point.
SUCCESS: Environmental protection note with the word “Texas” was at the site of the rite.
Calling to Mammie Waters evolved into drumming for Annie Christmas. She walks with a machete and is a strong protector. Image of a large black woman with an apron flapping the apron and pushing the oil back. I gave my voice to Mammie Waters and her breaths pushed against the incoming wind.
COMMENT: Calm after the rite. Maegdlyn did a calling to Red Tara with 7 people.
ps.....This appears unpreventable at this point, the mantra for the Medicine Buddha, the mantra for a quick death with less suffering will be useful a few days from now. This is good to use after any tragic incident:
Ta dya Ta:
Om, bekanzay, bekanzay,
Maha, bekanzay bekanzy,
ranza tamu gattay so-ha!
(this is phonetically written).
Mishlen Linden